When I was in undergrad school I ‘happened’ across a phrase that’s stuck with me throughout my life’s journey. I have no idea who first said it, but it’s continuing relevance and accuracy impressed me. “We are shaped by those who love us… and those who refuse to love us.” Yes? And don’t tell me that is an obvious statement. It isn’t. I suppose an argument could be made that the latter people have the greatest or longest lasting impact. It depends.
When you look at your life’s journey, what is obvious to you regarding people who do and don’t love you? How did you react to both types? Did you try and change the opinion of those who weren’t your fan? Did you look at your behavior and words to see if you provided a mix message or weren’t true to your own beliefs? Did you care? Regardless, you did have some response to both types of people.
I suspect that the most important point is to see how their reaction to you and your reaction to that shaped and formed you. How do you respond to rejection? Remember that ‘fair’ doesn’t make any difference. It’s inevitable that you will encounter rejection and sometimes it comes almost in a blindsided fashion from someone you had previously consider as a close friend. It is in those times, sometimes in the midst of confusion about why they are now rejecting you, and how you will ‘handle’ it that is displayed in your actions and forms a part of your character – that shapes and forms you.
For me, the fascinating part is that we shape and form ourselves as well. We do this through our attitude and we do this in our behavior. We are the actor in our own lives but we also are the director. Every day there are people and events who impact and interrelate with us. It is our decision about how we react and what we do. This all affirms who we are and what we do, or it causes us to refine one or both, or it causes us to change and replace. Do you see when and where you were shaped and what caused it?
… what do you think?
