It may seem obvious but joy and delight is typically bestowed on the doer of the doing, from their doing. Not that the recipient isn’t joyful at the unexpected blessing, but the person performing the act typically receives more. Rarely does just ‘thinking’ about (fill in the blank) create the same level of feeling that acting on our thinking does. And, unexpected (for the do-ee) typically is always a delight. But, truly, it is in the doing that makes the difference in the ‘doer’ as well as the ‘do-ee’.
It’s not the ‘size’ or cost of the doing that is of importance, nor whether or not it was a material object or simply words expressed that weren’t expect. It’s the mere act of doing something, that you weren’t ‘required’ to do, that brought an unexpected delight to the receiver. Think about when you’ve been the recipient of some unexpected act by someone that brought you some happiness. What was your reaction? Were the first words out of your mouth, “Oh, you shouldn’t have!” or “I didn’t expect that!”? Probably, but then those words were followed by, “But, thank you so much!”
Obviously there are other aspects that one gleans from the experience of being on the doing as well as the receiving end. None are inconsequential, I just maintain that it is joy and happiness, delight that rise to the top. As important as it is to be a doer, it is important for the do-ee to express gratitude, pleasure, whatever is the emotion, because that too gives information to the doer. Doers need to know how their doing is being received by the ‘object’ of their actions.
Is this a frivolous post? No. I maintain that the winners in these situations really are the doers. The acts of doing and receiving are very important as are the feelings of those who are doing and those who are the do-ees. When you were the recipient and you expressed your pleasure, did you also see the other person beam with their pleasure? Did you do the same, when someone expressed appreciation for what you did for them? It’s in the doing…
