Do you have any appreciation of the fact that it is extremely difficult to ask for help!? Not that in the asking you’ll be refused, simply asking is never easy. I believe that one of the hardest acts a stoic or self sufficient person can do is to ask for help. Actually many times what we all need is a lesson on how to ask for help. Obviously, the more personal and/or important to you, the more the difficulty.
There are those who have absolutely no difficulty asking for assistance, but there are many of us who do. Actually it might be argued that some people would rather ask for help than do whatever needs doing themselves. I might go so far as to characterize these people as ‘users’. And that may be part of the problem. Perhaps part of our dilemma rests in how we have been asked to help and what the result was.?
While it is difficult to ask, once the asking has been made and accepted and then the deed done, there are certain ‘manners’ that should occur. The first is to thank the person helping. A ‘thank you’ really does go a long way. Second is to make certain that their help/contribution is acknowledged. There is no greater downer than to see the work you’ve done credited to someone else and the individual does nothing to correct the impression. The third is to let the helper know that if there is anything that you can do for them, you would be pleased to do so. The last is to follow through on the third point if you are able to do so.
There is rarely a willingness to assist again when you feel you have been taken advantage of by the person asking for your assistance. That’s why those simple four points are important. Though they may not admit it, people like to receive credit for things they do. Most don’t seek a gushing thank you but most will accept a sincere one.
