What a devastating phrase. I had a friend who use to enjoy quoting, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Unfortunately that’s all too accurate. These words are often used to cover an unthinking act. We use it to justify what we’ve done, or not done. It’s really an excuse, a throw away phrase. What actually is ‘the best of intentions’? But the larger question is: what is the basis of our ‘claim’ that whatever we did or did not do was the ‘best of intentions’?
Actually I think the phrase points out people’s strong need to defend themselves. It’s almost as if a defense (typically for the indefensible?) is the first thing we think of. Even before we analyze what’s happening we are ready with our excuse. Obviously we want to be seen in the ‘best possible light’ but the fact often is that since we are very fallible we need to discover a way of strengthening our position. Not particularly logical.
It would be far easier and less strain if we simply acknowledged that we didn’t choose the ‘best’, apologize, and then move on. An apology is not weakness – it really is a statement that we regret that the ‘best’ didn’t occur and acknowledge any action on our part that contributed to the best not occurring. What’s wrong with that?!
If we are quick to accept credit for things that go well, that are the best of intentions then we should be able to accept the blame when they don’t. Attempting to cover it up/over never works and we inevitably are found out so why not admit the error without the attempted face saving of ‘ what I meant…’?
