I believe we are all looking to belong… somewhere. We are on a search for a home, a place of refuge. But also a place to grow. Simply… we are looking for a place that we belong. And a place that’s safe. It seems that some people have no problem finding their ‘place’. You can watch them being free in their belonging place. Others seem to search throughout their lives to discover their place, their foundation and sometimes not find it.
What are the attributes of one’s place? I’ve already indicated two of them – safety and growth. One’s place has to have an aspect of peace, of rest from life. Not a place to hide but a place to gather strength to return. Another component is significant others populating one’s place. Not necessarily like minded, in fact there needs to be people with differing views but the quality displayed is respect – you are respected for what you believe and you respect their thinking. Agreeing does not necessarily need to exist.
Valuing is a corollary quality. Your place has to give you a sense that you are valued just as you are by others. However it is also important that you value others as well and they sense this too. You need to feel that you can make ‘mistakes’ and not be damned for your choice. You need to feel that when you make the wrong choice/assumption that you can redeem it.
So what is required? A refuge, safety, a place to grow, peace, strengthening, others, respect, valuing, mistakes tolerated…. and these are only the obvious points. Each person has their own list that defines their place. Does all this sound like a utopia? Perhaps. But just maybe, it’s what one can develop in the place we currently live in. These qualities/attributes are available in some measure where we are right now.
We all need to feel we belong somewhere. Maybe what we need to do is to make where we are our belonging place. The interesting aspect is that no one has to tell you when you’ve found your belonging place – you know. It just feels right.
