I suspect popularity is equated with being valued by others. And if we’re popular then we’re valued…. by definition. However, the reality is that valuing has to begin with yourself – are you popular with you? Do you value you? If you start with some standard of valuing, do you apply the same standard to yourself. One thing is very clear… if you don’t value yourself then you won’t value another’s valuing of you.
Valuing is incredibly subjective and personalized. How you are treated is part of the equation of how you determine ‘value’ and what you value, and by extension – popularity. The society you are in also determines value. Remember that what one society values may not be what another one does. If you move from one group to another, you have a learning curve. Who determines what is valued typically defines the leadership.
What qualities, behaviors are present in people who are popular compared with those who aren’t? Remembering what one group values, such as intelligence, may not be what a different group, such as a ‘party’ oriented group, values.
There’s a corollary to this as well… how do you value other? Are you aware of the unpopular types? How does their lack of popularity affect them, their behavior – do you even know? Most important – how do you treat them?
Popularity may exact a high price in order to maintain itself. It may take courage to ‘listen to a different drummer’ and forgo popularity for being who you are. Then again you may find a group who also values what you do. Never compromise your values for the fleeting …. popularity.
