Why is it so difficult to respond with a … I don’t know? I would hazard a guess that part of the reason is that we all have this image of ourselves, our self perception, that doesn’t include a ‘don’t know’. Or maybe it relates to how we present ourselves to the world and we don’t want the world to think less of us and our lack of knowledge would impact on that.
Have you ever said that? Or maybe I should ask, have you ever wished, after the fact, that you had said that? Though the most truthful of all responses to a question is a don’t know, most people do have a problem with that response. I don’t know why it seems so difficult to admit you don’t know the answer. It’s more difficult for some than others.
But, what’s the worse that can happen if you say you don’t know? Actually it is an opportunity to join with the person asking the question to discover an answer, recognizing that there may be multiple answers with varying degrees of effectiveness. Even if you have the answer, sometimes the best approach is to not provide it but, acting more like a teacher, to help the other person arrive at their answer. The caveat in this is that you have to be willing to let their answer not be yours.
‘I don’t know’ can be a freeing experience but it also can enhances your status with others. Why? Because they can rely more confidently on what you say. Someone that always has a response to all questions tends to be viewed somewhat skeptically because no one has all the answers.
