When you are the offending person, have you ever thought about the fact that forgiveness (from/by others) is never a ‘deserved’. Simply saying you’re sorry isn’t enough. In many instances you need to ‘prove’ your words with changed behavior. Regardless, you can never demand or even expect that being forgiven is automatic even if we (hope) expect it. Now, flip the coin, and you are the one doing the forgiving. Do you (consciously or not) put a condition on you forgiving the other person? If you do then you are putting a requirement on your forgiveness.
Scripture has many verses about forgiving and forgiveness.
1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Hebrews 8:12 – “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”
Romans 5:8 – “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
I specifically chose these three out of the countless number of verses because of what they demonstrate. 1 John gives us method, Hebrews states the finality of how the sins are forgiven, and Romans shows us that the Lord had a plan for us when we did sin.
Method: When we are the offender, we acknowledge our sins. Implicit in seeking forgiveness is the intentionality to not repeat the words/behaviors that cause the need for forgiveness. How: The Lord tells us that when He forgives, He will not remember what occurred. This tells us that we can’t hold the sin over the others person’s head – forgiveness is a finality. It also tells us that when we are seeking forgiveness for what we did, when we have done everything possible to seek redemption, our responsibility in the future is to intentionally not repeat but we can’t continually hold our sin over our own head. And lastly, our primary method should be an attitude of extending forgiveness.
Ephesians 4:31-32 – “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Mark 11:25 – “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
Never forget that this should be what you do, how, and why. Regardless, you can never expect this attitude from others because forgiveness is never automatic and never deserved.
Forgiveness is a gift… and an act of love.
