It’s really kinda sad (I think) and slightly frustrating but I don’t think ‘mature’ will ever be descriptive of me. I think it would be rather grand to be viewed in my world as wise, kind, gracious. Sigh. Not gonna happen… ever.
Why? What, Which ‘why’ are you asking? Why am I sad or frustrated? Or, why would I want such an epitaph? Or, why do I think it’s unattainable for me. One does need to always check open ended questions/comments or you end up answering your preference and may totally miss the intent of the questioner.
For me, part of the why lies in the obvious – especially those of you who know me, do you really think I could ever become mature? Be honest now – you don’t need to answer out loud as t’s more rhetorical than actually wanting a response.
I think I’m feeling slightly whimsical today and that, in and of itself, disqualifies me and don’t play coy – you know that. Another disqualification is that I love to ask questions (it really is more of a ‘who I am’ than a ‘what I do’) – primarily so that the speaker will hear their own answers. And if you are elevated to the lofty position of mature – supposedly you have the answer. Not nearly as much fun as the quest to find an answer.
Another disqualification is that the journey’s the thing. That’s the path to self discovery, self understanding so that you can learn to be and act self-less and not self-ish. Getting me outta the way is a ‘yet to be accomplishment’. And I believe that Me-ism has no place in mature and honestly, there’s still too much of ME in me.
OK, all of this been said slightly, but only slightly, tongue-in-cheek but there’s a great deal of truth embedded in that somewhat self-effacement. I think all or at least most of us want to be the picture of maturity (thought we may define the word differently) on some level. Some of the my words associated with mature are: reliable, trustworthy, understanding, genuine, with creativity and common sense as mates. You may have other words or more but I think I’ve painted a picture. It’s a more and better … me.
Have you ever stopped long enough to look at your motives for wanting to be ‘mature’? We all should. You can never attain something that’s never defined. And for defined to be defined, there has to be a focus, a purpose. Mine is the Lord. I know I must disappoint often. I do have an advanced degree in rabbit trails which can really be bothersome at times.
So what’s my definition of of defined? It may sound simple or trite but my desire is to be pleasing to the Lord in my words and actions. If I can accomplish this then I can add to it. But first to be intentional in my words and actions, no – not censoring but not careless either. Second, I want to walk in the works the Lord has prepared for me (Ephesians 2). Third, I want to be part of His family, His nation (1 Peter 2:9)… and that begins my journey.
I do hope that I’m on the right path to mature so that I can be of some use for the Lord. But if I’m not… please Lord, help me off my current rabbit trail and back on Your path for me.
