Has the attempt been made on you to fear you into something? That if you don’t – or do – (fill in the blank) something dire will happen? How does this make you feel? Minimally… irritated! Doesn’t work. If fear is the motivator then whatever is ‘changed’ has no foundation. It will last only as long as the threat is evident. Personally I have never appreciated threats. Reason holds more sway with me… even when I don’t agree with the reasoning. At least this way I know you have a basis on why you are urging me to do/not do (fill in the blank).
Why use fear? Do you use it? Did you ever tell your child(ren) that if they didn’t do or if they continued doing… that they would get into trouble, the bogey man would ‘get them’? If so, then you did use fear. Did you follow up on your threats or promises? If not, then your empty words gave the person/people reason to doubt you. Thankfully, my parents never resorted to empty threats. Typically they pointed out the repercussions/ramification from continuing the behavior and (unless harmful) left it to me to make the decision. And yes, I did continue on a self-destructive path at times, but I knew what the end result possibly would be.
Do you think that fear will hold more power, influence than reason? And that’s why you use it? Is it a momentary fall back strategy? Does it ever work in the future with those you’ve used it on? Watching children, you see they always push the boundaries – they need to know their limits and until you set them and explain the whys, they will continue. This behavior occurs in a variety of settings so that the people involved do know and understand. I’ve discovered that when I involved them in the process, they are far more likely to accept and own them – regardless of age.
I am also aware that the old fire and brimstone approach to getting people saved seems to be an effective approach. But is it? What happens when the threat lessens or there is no follow up with these people to get them anchored in and part of the family? Momentary salvation is never a foundation, in my opinion. If you use the fire and brimstone, then it is critical to now teach the new Christian who they are and what they can now be. ‘Feared into’ is one method but what we should focus on is strengthening and leading people into fellowship… so they supply their gift to the body (Ephesians 4:16).
